This is pretty well done.

If I was in charge of America, I would probably pick Marvin Harrison Torry Holt and Philip Rivers (first, I’m an NCSU fan and second, it would make for some good reading if this happened). Or really, anyone who wasn’t famous for taking dumps on girls’ chests. Because there’s really almost no way that sending Osi, Rog, the Army and some cheerleaders overseas is going to end well for anyone.
Care To Get Nice? »

There’s a movement going on in Oregon that has the brahsome staff clamoring for a reason to move our headquarters to Portland, Oregon. Or Bend. Or Salem. Or any town in Oregon really.

Care To Get Nice? »

Following the amazing Wimbledon finale on Sunday, we, as most sports fans, thought amongst ourselves about whether it was the best tennis match ever played. Hell, for that matter, was it the greatest sporting event this year? Or maybe even this decade? Which, naturally, led us to thinking about all the great players and events we’ve been blessed enough to see within our lifetime (an average of 27 years for the 4 of us here). Our parents had Willie Mays’ catch over his shoulder, Bob Beamon shattering the long jump record, Namath following up his guarantee of a win despite being an 18 point dog, and Ali standing flexed over the huddled mass that was Smokin Joe as Cosell chanted “Down Goes Frazier”, among others. Well, we’ve had a pretty good run as well.
Care To Get Nice? »

In an interview with complex.com VH1’s favorite son Flava Flav disclosed he lost dat V-card at the tender age of 6.  That’s right, at the age most kids think the opposite sex has cooties Flav was plowing in the bushes.  At least he didn’t have to worry about getting that lucky lady preggers.  Flav currently has seven (known) children by three baby momas.  The shocker there is that he doesn’t have more babies and baby momas.

Complex: Where did you lose your virginity?

Flavor Flav: Where did I lose my virginity? I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box.

Complex: Really?

Flavor Flav: Yea, in the bushes on a box. A girl and me were having sex on a box in the bushes, in some big tall bushes.

Complex: How uh…when was this?

Flavor Flav: This was when I was real, real, real, real, young.

Complex: Like elementary school? Or middle school?

Flavor Flav: Nah, I’m a tell you the truth; I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old.

Complex: Really?

Flavor Flav: Yea, man. Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.

Complex: I respect that. Early start my man.

Flavor Flav: That’s right early start and guess what and I have a great finish right now. [Laughs] Yessir!

The greatest hype man of all time also discloses the worst trick ever played on him.  Someone put a booger on his hamburger and he unknowingly ate it.  Don’t worry, Flav got his.  He spread some dog-shat on a ritz cracker and convinced the dood it was a “peanut butter cookie sandwich.”

As I’m sure most of you are aware, the Rothbury Festival went down over the weekend. None of your brahs made it out there, so we don’t have a recap or any reviews for you … but what we do have is a picture of Mike Liquid Bass Gordon standing on stage with Trey Big Red Antipasti looking creepy as hell.

As my friend Skeeter put it, “that pic says so much … all he needs is a bag of candy.”

More pics.

Is this a great country or what? A few months ago the brilliant minds in our nation’s capital decided the best way to nudge our economy out of a rutt was to send out over $100 billion in economic relief to the citizens.

“Free money! Go out and spend dat shit, son!” is what they told us.
And spend it we did.

An independent market-research firm, AIMRCo (Adult Internet Market Research Company), has discovered that many websites focused on adult or erotic material have experienced an upswing in sales in the recent weeks since checks have appeared in millions of Americans’ mailboxes across the country.

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, “Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market.”

Pr0n. The money meant to stimulate the economy is actually being used to stimulate Johnny Everyman’s johnson. Awesome.

Who joins these sites anyway? How can you not find all the pr0n you need on the innerwebs for free? Dudes. Brahs. Pervs. It’s out there for free. I promise.

H/T to ADub for the link.

Note: Jessica Alba has nothing to do with this story … but damn she fine!

Meet Michael McCarty. Just your standy 20 year old sophomore at Georgia Tech down in Hotlanta, save for the fact that he’s never kissed a girl before. He’s had a steady girlfriend for 5 years now, but they’ve never met face to face (thank the Lawd for them interwebs). And with her coming in town soon, he’s turned back to said interwebs for some help on learning the art of tonsil tasting. “I placed the ad on Craigslist because I want to learn how to kiss a girl the right way,” McCarty said.” But how could a guy be 20 years old living in ATL and not be plowing through random steez he meets at Moondogs every weekend? “I guess I’ve been on the computer too much playing video games and not going out and meeting people as much as I’d like to,” said McCarty. Yeah, that’s pretty much how we remember college. Just a bunch of computer games and not going out and meeting people, assuming ‘computer games’ is some new code for box-cutting and ‘not going out’ is some new code for ‘going out.’ Ix-nay on the never-kissed-a-girl-even-though-I’m-20-but-I-swear-I’m-not-a-huge-oser-lay Mike.

Obviously you’re all aware of the affinity the brahs and I have for Hunter S. Thompson. We’ve talked about it ad nauseam on this site. He was what I had once hoped to be, before selling out and becoming whatever the hell it is I am today.

He was a journalist who could pique the interest of his audience even while covering the most mundane event. English dripped from his tongue, pen, or type-writer like no one before him and no one since. He didn’t just give you the facts … he dressed them up and delivered them covered in booze, hyperbole, and emotion to the point you felt you weren’t reading a journalist’s take, but rather a first hand account of one of the world’s great tragedies or triumphs … depending on the topic.

Academy Award winning director Alex Gibney (Enron: Smartest Guys in the Room) brings us “Gonzo,” a Johnny Depp narrated documentary on the man who invented and perfected gonzo journalism.

huntersthompsonmovie.com

Click here for play dates.

Thanks to The C for the link.

Nothing says safe like hanging out in a pool right outside the world’s largest waterfall.